"Married Life: How to Build and Sustain a Lasting Marriage"

 At the start of my marriage, I often looked at other couples and marveled at the way that

relationships would flow naturally and two people became one. When I compared those models

to my new partnership, I would often get frustrated that we weren’t achieving the same success

in our relationship. After nearly a year of marriage, I’ve learned five ways to develop a more

fulfilling relationship with my spouse. I hope others can find inspiration and encouragement

from these principles.  

 

1. Never Stop Dating - I have grown to learn that dating is very important to keep a

relationship going. All this boredom happens when the couples are not trying new things

together. Dating helps the couple to know each other better and learn new things about

each other. I feel like there comes a time in life when we don’t have time for our spouse

because all we care about is building a family and forgetting that it’s important to date our

spouse and keep that relationship alive.

2. Make Your Spouse a Priority -We should always make time for our spouse as President

Thomas Monson said, “Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a

person to be loved.” We should always forgive each other and have a fresh start. We

shouldn’t let each other down. Making your spouse a priority means always standing next

to them in times of hardship or happiness. 

3. Express Your Love - Different people have different needs. I understood quickly that

my spouse expected certain expressions of love that were different from mine. We

studied the five love languages together to get a better understanding of each other and

change to meet one another's needs. 

a. Words of affirmation - affection through spoken word, praise, compliments, or

appreciation. 

b. Quality time - focus on your spouse and be present with undivided attention

c. Physical touch - romantic gestures, massages, or sexual intimacy. 

d. Acts of service - helping with chores, small acts of kindness, running errands

e. Receiving gifts - the time and effort are just as important as the surprise inside. 

2. Share Common Goals and Interests - I found that when couples have different

interests, they must compete for time. When couples create goals and share interests

together, they can be with one another while they are doing activities that they love. In

addition, when couples see progress together, they are encouraged and strengthened in

their relationship, especially when they overcome an obstacle through teamwork. 

3. Don’t Expect a Walk in the Park - I think the most important lesson I’ve learned is that

all good things take time. Seeing successful couples and marriages that have lasted

decades sometimes made me impatient. Frustration in developing a relationship is

common, but working through challenges in life with my husband has made the journey

so much more rewarding. Marriage isn’t easy, but finding success together is one of the

greatest sources of happiness. 

Your Love Matters

Your love matters in every way

“Pitter-Patter”, my heart seems to say

Could eternity be long enough…

Please return to me in strength and in love

Let’s unite and renew what we have vowed

Do what it takes as the Lord’s endowed

God is on our side, never to leave

If only you’d try, if only you’d believe

I miss your face, your confidence

This time can’t erase, nor can your distance

It’s all up to you- I promise to try

For now I will hope, believe and I’ll cry

Love comes with links and not with chains

We’re connected and so my heart pains

I will not force nor try to control

But, for you, a red carpet I’ll unroll.

-Kelly Miller

I hope you have found my experience helpful as you work on relationships in your own life. I

wish you all the best as you seek to get the most out of life by building a strong marriage.