MARRIAGE based upon LOVE

Hello everyone,

I will be quoting a lot from two of the reads from my past week because it is straightforward, and I don't want to change the words as it has impacted my thoughts and has taught me to be strong and on the right path.

It is important for us to create a safe place for our love as man and woman (husband and wife). I love the lines of Anne Bradstreet, the Puritan poetess, who in a piece entitled To My Dear and Loving Husband confides:

If ever two were one, then surely we.

If ever man were loved by wife, then thee.

If ever wife was happy in a man,

Compare with me, ye women, if you can.

prize thy love more than whole mines of gold,

Or all the riches that the East doth hold.

My love is such that rivers cannot quench,

Nor ought but love from thee give recompense.

Thy love is such I can no way repay;

The heavens reward thee manifold, I pray.

Then while we live, in love lets so persever,

That when we live no more, we may live ever.

'Trust is to human relationships what faith is to gospel living. It is the beginning place, the foundation upon which more can be built. Where trust is, love can flourish.'

Benefits of marriage:

1. Commitment between both husband and wife to help each other.

Both husband and wife are committed to helping the other achieve the fullest possible development. How inspiring it is, for example, to hear Elder David B. Haight tell of times he has cooked the dinner so that his wife could attend her Spanish class. Growth can come for both partners when husband and wife develop the kind of love that allows the other to turn potential into perfection and talent into testimony. A strong marriage takes strong individuals equally committed to calling forth the best in themselves as well as in their eternal partner. A husband must give his support if a wife is to adequately use the gifts God has given her. A wife must give her support if her husband is to lead the family.

2. Respecting each other's opinions.

For a man and wife to become one there are many differences, large and small, that must be accommodated or resolved. In a marriage relationship that is secure, differences need not lead to discord. They can be openly considered until a satisfactory solution is reached because the premises are agreed upon: both the husband and wife are committed to love one another, to build the kingdom of God, and to establish an eternal family unit. All considerations are made in light of these three basic commitmentsthese are the givens. When they are held inviolate, the marriage remains intact, even though the process of resolution may involve considerable discussion.


3. Each child has the love and interest of both mother and father.

When children are treated fairly, there is no cause for jealousy because there is no partiality. Reading the Book of Mormon, we find that whenever the people were truly committed to the Lord and had the Holy Ghost in their midst, the conditions described were similar. 


4. Establishing happiness through love.

Finally, love establishes the basis for happiness. Remember that a family established in love and secured by consecration is maintained through work and service. A home is strengthened by work when workers receive respect.

 

 

One of my favorite reads from this week suggested by our professor and insights from it:

 

'The formula is simple; the ingredients are few, though there are many amplifications of each.


First, there must be the proper approach toward marriage, which contemplates the selection of a spouse who reaches as nearly as possible the pinnacle of perfection in all the matters which are of importance to the individuals. And then those two parties must come to the altar in the temple realizing that they must work hard toward this successful joint living.


Second, there must be a great unselfishness, forgetting self and directing all of the family life and all pertaining thereunto to the good of the family, subjugating self.


Third, there must be continued courting and expressions of affection, kindness, and consideration to keep love alive and growing.


Fourth, there must be a complete living of the commandments of the Lord as defined in the gospel of Jesus Christ.
With these ingredients properly mixed and continually kept functioning, it is quite impossible for unhappiness to come, misunderstandings to continue, or breaks to occur. Divorce attorneys would need to transfer to other fields and divorce courts would be padlocked.'

 

Source:

 

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1981/10/a-safe-place-for-marriages-and-families?lang=eng

 

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1977/03/oneness-in-marriage?lang=eng

 

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